FEMALE STARFISH RABBIT HIRED AS NEW STAR WARS SHOWRUNNER
By Ryan McLelland

Lucasfilm announced today that they have hired Ribbit to head a new untitled Star Wars show that will launch on Disney Plus in 2022.

Transcending all boundaries when it comes to identity politics, Lucasfilm was proud to find Ribbit, formerly known as Ooooooaaaa. The multisex starfish came out as female last year and has since identified herself as a rabbit.

“It was difficult at first,” Ribbit probably said. “Living life as a lie was hard but finally I had to look deep in myself and realize…I was born to hop. Hop free. Get out of the ocean. Wear lipstick. Be a woman. It was important to me.”

Ribbit’s mother Aaaaaoo had no comment, as starfish are not capable of speech like rabbits are.

“Ribbit was a great hire,” said Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy. “We here at Lucasfilm believe diversity is most important in making our Star Wars television shows. I guess films too but fuck the films I don’t care. What’s important is that starfish who identify as female rabbits should have the same chance as transgender female cisnary tri-athlete Twitter-baiting women folk who also love to run their own shows and buy Star Wars toys.”

As we forgot that this was all about Star Wars, we believe they’ll make some announcement of what the show may actually be about shortly. The “Ribbit: A Starfish Who Is A Rabbit” will also be a 20 part docuseries on Disney Plus probably starting next week.

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