More Regurgitated Crisis of Infinite Earths News Portrayed As New Information
By Marty Iglooed

We here at 2G1 are so happy about the upcoming super mega hugetastic Arrowverse crossover that we feel the need to regurgitate the same information to you over and over again in a not-so-veiled attempt to try and get more clicks. And here you are reading it! But don’t worry. At the end of this article we are going to reveal a massive all new reveal! Trust us – you’ll be shocked at this casting.

Crisis on Infinite Earths will be the biggerestest crossover to hit the Arrowverse yet, just in case you weren’t paying attention. Now it is going to bring not only the casts of all of the shows, which are Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow and Batwoman, together, but also various guest stars and DC icons from other properties, various icons from other guest stars, and various DC property icons on a Marvel themed Monopoly board.

There’s been so much news of late regarding who’s going to appear in the event because of the non-stop articles by websites trying to tell you the same information on a daily basis. This could be annoying. No worries. We are here to help add to that annoyance. So here is 2G1’s totally cribbed information on who is 200% absolutely positively appearing as of today I guess.

Brandon Routh as Kingdom Cum Superman – The Legends star was revealed to be unsuiting up as the Man of Steelbuns at Comic-Con, with it later confirmed he’d be playing the porn version of Superman.

Kevin Conroy as Future Bruce Wayne – The veteran gay lawyer from Dynasty will finally play the Dark Night in live-action in this particular crossover. 2G1 has reported that he’ll be the Kingdom Cum Batman, but won’t cum in costume.

Burt Ward as unknown – The ward of Batman ’66 is definitely going to be in the crossover but even though we are confirming he is in the crossover, we can’t confirm who he’s confirmed to be in the upcoming confirmed crossover. Some say he’ll play older Dick. Sounds about right.

Cress Williams as Black Lightning – Black Lightning is another superhero show but, because he’s a black guy, they’ve kept him out of the Arrowverse because the producers hate black people. Word is Black Lightning will be jailed three minutes into the first episode.

LaMonica Garrett as The Monitor/Anti-Monitor – Garrett will obviously occur again as ostentatious organism obstinately known as the Monitor, on account of his outstanding obvious objectives that were all oblivious outcomes. He’ll also offer up his own odious doppelgänger, the Anti-Monitor, who oddly objectifies the oneness of objectiveness.

Tom Cavanagh as Ed – Cavanagh will play yet another new character in “Crisis,” filling the key comic book role of Ed Stevens. In the comics, Ed loses his job and then learns that his wife is having an affair with a mailman. He moves into a bowling alley where he practices law while trying to win back an old flame.

Tyler Hoechlin as Superman – Routh won’t be the only Superman in the crossover. That’s because Tyler Hoechlin will also be playing Superman. That makes TWO Supermans. Or is that Supermen? Hoechlin will reprise his Earth-69 version.

Elizabeth Tulloch as Lois Lane – And where Clark Kent goes, Lois Lane can’t be far behind. Because obviously Lois Lane always needs saving and she always needs a big strong man to do so. Not like Lois Lane is a fully developed strong woman character who can take care of herself. But whatever.

Jon Cryer as Lenny Luthor – The Monitor was seen to be looking over Luthor’s corpse in the Supergirl finale and it’s feasible he’ll bring back the villain, as he’ll appear in “Crisis.” Remember? This is everyone who is confirmed! But will the nephew of Lex Luther truly return? Or will Lois Lane simply be watching Morgan Stewart’s Coming Home?

Crisis on Infinite Earths kicks off on The CW December 8th. Don’t worry. Several clickbatey websites will be here to remind you every other day that the crossover is coming. 2G1 will be here to remind you that they are reminding you.

And the surprise guest? Producers just cast Martha Kent. Who’s playing her? Your mom. Don’t believe us? Pick up the phone and call her. We’ll wait.

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