Disney’s Cash For Critics Program In Trouble Following Disappointing Toy Story 4 $118 Mil Opener?
By Pamela Finkelstein

Studio-heads at Disney are in panic mode after weekend actuals came in this morning showing a softer than expected opening for Toy Story 4.

“It was limp alright,” said Bob Vance, Vice President of Disney Diplomatic Relations. “Going in it looked like we would nail the box office hard but after the weekend was done it looks like Toy Story 4 just came too early.”

While Disney’s Cash For Critics program helped the sequel to a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it seemed the critics that were paid did not follow through in telling everyone they knew to rush to theaters. After Disney spent a record $35 mil on good critic reviews, does this now spell the end of the program?

“Not necessarily,” says Disney spokeswoman Madison Disney. “We are still fully committed to the largest market share possible. Disney is fully committed to the program especially looking at our upcoming slate of films.”

Disney still has the upcoming Lion King live action film, Frozen 2, and Star Wars sequel coming in the next few months. Rumors are Disney could blow their wad on these three movies to secure near perfect tomato scores.

“We are really going to ride Star Wars,” said Disney. “I mean really fuck the shit out of it. Can we cut that last line?”

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